Reaching consensus on changes to bits of software around bitcoin, even bitcoin core, is in almost no way similar to reaching consensus on changes to the consensus rules. Say consensus one more time, Rearden.
This does not concern me in the slightest. If it does concern you then you can lobby for an activation client that uses LOT=false, which has approximately no risk of a chain split.
I have almost no opinion on the details of activation, but I believe it fairly likely that the only way for bitcoin to reach consensus on consensus rule changes is to publish activation clients and let users lobby miners on which bits they want set.